Misunderstood Vegans

  • Being lectured about how much protein you’re getting by someone who exclusively eats Stouffer’s lasagna. Thank you for your opinion, Jake, but please shut your mouth. Your proteinless dinner is falling out of it and I’d hate to see that go to waste.
  •  Having to hear someone’s self-righteous “Yeah, I tried being vegan for a while, but it didn’t work for me” story. I get that some people try being vegan for various reasons and then it doesn’t work out for various reasons, but I really don’t need to hear your passive-aggressive story about why my life is a lie.
  • When people get super self-conscious about eating around you because they worry you’ll judge them, when really you just want to quietly eat kale alongside them. I couldn’t care less about whether or not you’re eating eggs and honestly, I did not even notice you were eating eggs until you made it weird. 
  • When someone brings you something edible as a way of saying “thank you” but they didn’t know you were vegan and now you have this box of crap you can’t eat. The worst is when they want to eat the food item with you and you have to weigh the pros and cons of a chew-and-spit, or telling them you’re vegan and making them sad because you can’t eat their present. I usually say I just ate because any other reality is too awkward and heartbreaking for me. 
  • Having your relatives ask you if you’re “still doing that vegan thing.” Being vegan is not Carmen Electra’s Aerobic Striptease workout from 2004. Plus, I’ve been doing that “thing” since I was a teenager so it’s probably a done deal at this point.
  • Having to hear someone’s self-righteous “Yeah, I tried being vegan for a while, but it didn’t work for me” story. I get that some people try being vegan for various reasons and then it doesn’t work out for various reasons, but I really don’t need to hear your passive-aggressive story about why my life is a lie.
  • Source: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a50566/problems-only-vegans-understand/

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